


Time is running out

by ArtanisNaanie



Series: Muse [4]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Jaskier | Dandelion, Angst, Betaed, Jaskier writes songs, M/M, No happy ending yet but it'll come, Pining, Standing booty call, Unrequited Love, no beta we die like witchers, unclear relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtanisNaanie/pseuds/ArtanisNaanie
Summary: It’s been a year. Jaskier is good.Or maybe not.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Muse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752481
Comments: 26
Kudos: 162
Collections: Interesting Character and/or Interesting Relationship Development, The Modern Witcher AU Collection





	Time is running out

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, it's been a while. I was very excited about this chapter but it was actually really painful to write. Personal, and therefore painful. There's no smut in this chapter (sorry) but it's tagged M for sex talk. 
> 
> This is part of a series and doesn't make a lot of sense of you haven't read Undisclosed desires, Bliss and Supermassive Blackhole.
> 
> English is still not my first (or second) language so I'm sorry for eventual mistakes I didn't catch!
> 
> I hope you'll like it even if it hurts!
> 
> Update 01/10/2021: Thanks to Rita for editing this series, now it's actually in English! Check her work [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyRita1967/pseuds/LovelyRita1967), she writes amazing fics!!

It’s been a year. Jaskier is good. 

It’s usually Geralt who texts, but around the six month mark Jaskier got bolder, especially after one too many drinks. There are chance meetings at clubs or bars, there are one a.m. booty calls, there are the midday fucks because they’re both horny and why not. They’ve fucked in the car, in both their beds, in a club’s bathroom (which was _disgusting_ and Jaskier’s never going to do that again), in dark alleys, in some very less dark alleys (Jaskier marvels at the fact that he’s still not been arrested for public indecency, seriously, what does it _take_ ), and once on the pool table of the pub where they met all those months ago. After closing, that one, but _still_.

It’s been a year. Jaskier is good. 

They’ve met each other’s friends. Sure, more in a “Oh hey, you’re here too, I’m here with friends” way than in a “I want you to meet my friends” way, but still. Eskel is a nice guy who talks just a bit more than Geralt and Lambert is an asshole but they actually didn’t tease too much so there’s that. Yennefer and Triss have said their piece and made their peace right at the beginning, so that’s something too. The girls are together now, Triss moved her stuff in Yennefer’s room three months ago and her ex room has been an art studio and craft/music/greenhouse since then. Yen still has a disapproving scowl whenever Jaskier speaks of Geralt, but it could be more about their past than it is about this _thing_ they have going on. Probably. Well, Jaskier can hope. 

It’s been a year. Jaskier is good. 

He has no name for what _that_ is. The easiest definition would be friends with benefits, but he and Geralt are not exactly friends. Sure, they talk when they’re together, they know each other a bit (in some ways more than in others), but are they friends, really? Their text conversation in Jaskier’s phone is mostly composed of “Free tonight” and “Sure” and rambling bits from Jaskier when he’s had too much to drink. Geralt never answers, but, on the other hand, Jaskier rarely writes something worth an answer. Still, a “lol” never killed anybody. So maybe standing booty call is more exact. 

It’s been a year. Jaskier is good. 

The good side of this arrangement is that Jaskier has never had sex so regularly. Sure, regularly can be anywhere between twice a week and once a month, but still. Once a month can be a good rate. It’s good sex, too, and not just because Geralt is a fucking god on earth and Jaskier probably could cream his pants just watching him (and he knows he can, it almost happened), but because the amount of things one can discover when they have sex with the same person for a year is insane. Jaskier knows Geralt loves his hair being pulled and has very sensitive calves, and Geralt obviously knows about Jaskier’s _slight_ exhibitionist tendencies and can find his prostate on the first try. The sex is good. The sex is so good, in fact, that Jaskier has absolutely no interest in having it with anyone else. It’s been… well, it’s been a year, more or less. Jaskier has not divulged this information, not even to his friends, because he can almost see Triss’s face and he doesn’t want to deal with _that_. He’s not being _faithful_ to Geralt, he’s just choosing where to use his energies and, right now, he doesn’t have them for meaningless flirting and average sex, that’s all. 

It’s been a year. Jaskier is good. 

He’s doing good with his music, too. In the small circuit of his town he’s starting to get famous, well, as famous as one can get in this town, and his nights are frequently spent singing and playing in several pubs and bars and coffee shops and, on occasion, he does a shop opening. Money’s a bit better than before, even if he’s still far from rich.

He’s composing a lot, even if more than half his songs don’t even get to the melody part because the texts are too dark. Nobody needs to know that. 

It’s been a year. Jaskier is a wreck. 

He lies all the time, to everybody and himself. The revelation comes suddenly, between a breath and the next, on a stupid Wednesday that looks like any other except it’s not. It’s not, because there’s this ache in his chest that won’t go away since this morning when he woke up at five a.m. in Geralt’s bed, on the far side of the mattress, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. This mix of awful, awful feelings keeps sneaking up on him and he keeps pushing down and it keeps rising again. So, on a whim, he locks his door and takes out his notepad and starts to write while his brain goes a hundred miles a minute.

He knows he’s being an idiot and there’s nothing he could have done to avoid it. Well, except the _obvious_ , but that ship sailed a year ago. It was written that this lusty, teenager crush would become so much more, because that’s what crushes do, don’t they? They idolize someone and when that someone reveals himself to be _fucking better_ than what one thought, _damn it_ , they evolve like a fucking Pokemon in something a lot more than a simple crush. _He’s in love and he hates it_. He hates it with an intensity that’s scary and he hates it because this isn’t the kind of love that fills, that completes, that lifts, no, it’s the kind of love that smothers, that buries, that degrades. Yes, that’s good, he writes that. 

He doesn’t fault Geralt for it. Geralt did nothing wrong. Jaskier went into this mess with his big boy pants and can only blame himself for it. Geralt is handsome and smart and funny in a very dry way, and he’s loyal to his friends, and he’s passionate about _horses_ of all things. Geralt never took more than was offered. Jaskier was the one who offered too much and pretended it didn’t hurt when his offerings weren’t taken. It did hurt. It did hurt so much, but how can he ask for more? He knows it wasn’t on the table. What was on the table was sex, and interesting conversations on a pillow sometimes, and a heated wink from across a bar on occasion. And Jaskier should have made peace with that, but he didn’t. He wants more, wants something he can’t have because he is greedy and selfish and his page is filling with half-assed lyrics while something like a bass rhythm is pounding in his head. Jaskier takes his bass and tries to find the line. 

Every time he sees Geralt it’s like an adrenaline rush that leaves him empty when the high goes down. Every time he sees Geralt he hates himself a bit more because he’s like a puppy that runs to his master as soon as the master whistles. He doesn’t want to be a puppy. He doesn’t fucking deserve to be a puppy. He deserves someone who has love to give, and days to spend together, and hands to hold, and inside jokes, and lazy mornings. He deserves someone who calls him just to talk and offers at least an answer when drunk-Jaskier rambles about how hazelnut ice cream is so much better than chocolate, _don’t you think Geralt_ , even if it’s two in the morning and anyway everybody knows that hazelnut is way better. He deserves someone who calls what they do “making love” - not always, maybe, but sometimes. He deserves better because he’s a fucking delight, _thank you very much_ , and a catch on top of that and he can’t keep drowning in this pity party for one that he has staged for himself. 

He finds a rhythm for his bass line. Words come easily after that. He can feel in his bones that this one is good, this one is awesome, really, this one is _fucking freeing_. 

\---

He hasn’t seen Geralt in a month, more or less. He hasn’t texted or called. He’s finishing his song, polishing it, rewriting it over and over again until it flows, until it speaks his and its truth, and it’s almost there. He recorded the instruments already and the music that comes out is blessedly pissed instead of sad and he’s so grateful for it. He needs the anger. 

He’s going to play it tonight. He’s going to jump in and play it and hope it will be well received and, if not, it’s because his audience is unable to understand music and not because it’s a bad song. 

It’s one of his usual places, not the one with an open mic, no, one that actually pays him so he hopes he will not fuck this up. He has his setlist ready, mostly covers as usual, but with two of his originals mixed in and he’s going to finish it with the new one. Its title is “Time is Running Out” and that’s it, that's the feeling that’s been crushing Jaskier’s chest in the past month. It needs out. It needs to be freed. So Jaskier sings, and plays, and engages with his audience during his set just to get to it, just to get to the end. He knows his voice wavers. He can feel the emotions overwhelming him as they rarely do when he plays in public and he lets them because that’s how this song should be sung, with _feeling_.

The applause is big and nice. Jaskier bows to it, swiping discreetly a tear with the end of his sleeve. He smiles and he feels like he’s not lying, not this time, he’s smiling because he feels better, and isn’t that something. 

He goes home after that, completely uninterested by what the night could offer. And the irony of the fact that of all nights, Geralt chooses this one to text, isn’t lost on him. He pauses the show he’s watching and frowns at the dry “Wanna come over?”, really thinking about it. 

And when he answers “No, Geralt, I don’t want to and I think it would be better for me if I didn’t see you again like that. Thank you for everything. See you around, Geralt,” his heart aches, but he feels better with himself than he has in months. 

**Author's Note:**

> The song Jaskier writes is "Time is running out", from Muse. Here's the lyrics, even if in my head Jaskier changed them just a bit:
> 
> I think I'm drowning  
> Asphyxiated  
> I want to break the spell  
> That you've created  
> You're something beautiful  
> A contradiction  
> I want to play the game  
> I want the friction  
> You will be  
> The death of me  
> Yeah, you will be  
> The death of me  
> Bury it  
> I won't let you bury it  
> I won't let you smother it  
> I won't let you murder it  
> Our time is running out  
> And our time is running out  
> You can't push it underground  
> We can't stop it screaming out  
> I wanted freedom  
> But I'm restricted  
> I tried to give you up  
> But I'm addicted  
> Now that you know I'm trapped  
> Sense of elation  
> You'll never dream of breaking this fixation  
> You will squeeze the life out of me  
> Bury it  
> I won't let you bury it  
> I won't let you smother it  
> I won't let you murder it  
> Our time is running out  
> And our time is running out  
> You can't push it underground  
> We can't stop it screaming out  
> How did it come to this  
> You will suck the life out of me  
> Bury it  
> I won't let you bury it  
> I won't let you smother it  
> I won't let you murder it  
> Our time is running out  
> And our time is running out  
> You can't push it underground  
> We can't stop it screaming out  
> How did it come to this
> 
> Kudos, comments and any other sign are always really appreciated. Thank you so much for your support!
> 
> Check out my other Witcher fics:
> 
> \- [A piper at the gates of dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23411083/chapters/56107210); canon universe, ep 6 fix-it, rated E, <9k. Geralt finds Jaskier one year and a half after the mountain.  
> \- the [Muse 'verse](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752481): Modern setting, from hook-up to lovers, rated E, Geralt wears kilts, angst with a happy ending. <20k  
> \- [Calligraphy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365418): 5k ficwip challenge, College/University, rated E, inspired by art, fluff, 5k  
> \- [In the kitchen of a keep in the mountains](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910944/chapters/62970847): canon universe, found family, food as a love language, internal monologues, character study, rated T, 12k  
> \- [ There was only one bed and it was uncomfortable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26283094): 5+1 Crack, rated E, 4k  
> \- [Wish you were here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26579083); canon universe, porn without plot, rated E, 5k. Geralt walks in on Jaskier.. again.  
> \- [Of food, friendship and apologies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27954674); canon universe, ep 6 fix-it, rated G, 2k, not or pre slash. Food is a love language.  
> \- [As we lie here in our bed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28527864): canon universe, porn without plot, somnophilia prompt for the Sugar and Spice Witcher Bingo, rated E, 1k  
> \- [Black in front of my eyes, bark against my back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616832): canon universe, porn without plot, outdoor, clothed sex, rated E, <1k  
> \- [Things that bump in the night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617060): pre canon universe, porn without plot, Eskel/Geralt, Kaer Morhen, rated E, <1k  
> \- [I quite like seeing you all tied up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617300): canon universe, porn without plot, Geraskier, soft bondage, rated E, <1k  
>   
> And you can come yell at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ArtanisNaanie) too!


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